I was asked to complete one of those interview things recently and figured I'd share my unexpurgated answers...
What motivates you? I’m definitely an “away from” kind of chap, so, typically, it’s a fear of failure. However, this is a fear driven by my ceaseless insecurity, my limb-gnawing neediness and, what my mother describes bluntly as, my “monstrous narcissism”.
What de-motivates you? A badly lit mirror.
What do you get up to in your spare time? Mine and my brother's band Damaged Gods. Unlike much rap based music, which is entirely concerned with cars, money, guns, drugs, trainers and girls' bottoms, there is a political hue to our vivid beatscape which renders our art both visceral and cerebral. I also write. Amongst my published articles I'm most proud of contributing a cover story to “The Tribune” magazine - a publication which George Orwell used to write for.
What job did you want to do when you were at school? “Truth-Campaigning Journalist.” Time’s arrow and the inexorable onset of cynicism dashed my dreams on the unforgiving rocks of harsh reality and led me to conclude that the two terms are mutually exclusive.
Where is your favourite place in the world and why? Onstage, performing. One cannot create art in a vacuum and my compulsion to seek love, adoration and validation from complete strangers - whilst having them attest vociferously and enthusiastically that I’m LITERALLY covered in awesome - is overwhelming.
Which famous person (living or deceased) would you most like to meet, and why? Noam Chomsky. He’s a philosopher, a linguist, a political activist and revered essayist. I’d ask what inspired him to apply linguistic techniques and constructs to an advocacy for social and political change, and whether my looks prevent me being taken seriously.
What makes you laugh out loud? It’s a tie between Britain’s “ethical” foreign policy and America attempting a practical application of the innocuous sounding “Hegemony Stability Theory.” They’re a bit like Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon in “The Trip,” only more surreal and with a little more bloodshed.
Your one piece of advice for future generations: A thing done with moderation may later be judged to be insufficient, yeah? Sweet!
If you were an animal, what would you be? A Liger. It’s a cross between an overly promiscuous Lion, and a Tigress. On their hind legs they’re as tall as a double-decker bus! In this guise I’d be able to cut my queueing time in Boots - for my Astral All Over Moisturiser - in half! Possibly... It’s too close to call... Manchester's pretty hardcore.
Best book you would recommend “Zabiba and The King” by Saddam Hussein. A “Mills and Boon” style love story as penned by a murderous despot. Genius! It proved so popular it was turned into a musical. I mean, he didn’t even feel the need to devise a nom de plume like, say, “Mildred Bagshaw.” And why would he? After all, nothing says “romance” like “Saddam Hussein.” Also available in this series: “Quick and Easy meals for working Mums,” by Idi Amin.
Favourite Film you would recommend: “Brotherhood Of The Wolf.” Imagine “Dangerous Liaisons” meets “The Matrix” meets “Jaws” with an underlying poignant social commentary set against the backdrop of the French Revolution. Amazing. Either that or “Brozilla: He Is Legend!” - the film that’s playing in my head ALL the time, boasting a cast of one, outrageous CGI, gratuitous nudity and a throbbing, sensual self-written soundtrack.