Jay-Z, Kanye West, The Grammys and the N word

My brother and I are soooooo different. At the conclusion of the first 5am screening of The Dark Knight Rises, on the day of its release, I'm not ashamed to say I welled up. Perhaps it was the context in which I viewed the movie - I've never been to a 5am screening before - but it seemed the perfect end to a very impressive trilogy. My brother's verdict? Not so much. His was a decidedly unimpressed "Meh..."

'Twas ever thus. Back when we were youngsters the family cat, Rivelino (we named him after the World Cup winning, combative Brazillian midfielder. Later I had a pet Hamster whom I named Reggie The Bastard, but that's a different story for a different time), somehow managed to trap himself in the back of the piano and was mewing desperately for help. I was distraught. I was crying hysterically. Poor Rivelino. My brother, as rational as always, huffed, "What's wrong with you? All we need to do is pull the piano out. Jeez..."

I could give you loads of examples of where I'm the one shrieking with outrage like a raped goat, whilst my brother gives an insouciant shrug of his shoulders. Our roles have probably been reversed lots of times over the years, but at present I can only bring to mind two examples. A few years ago I was leafing through the NME (yeah, I know). In the ad section I came across a music emporium which announced proudly that it sold lots of different genres of music, but specialised mainly in Indie, Electronica, Heavy Metal and Nigger.

Being permanently drenched in cynicism it was pretty easy to make my voice sound light and breezy when I rang my brother to casually suggest he go to a newsagents and just have a quick flick through the ads section of this week's NME. "You'll know what it is when you see it," I teased. He rang me back an hour later in a frothing rage, which as I've already stated, is most unlike my brother. He had rung both the shop involved AND the publication to ask what they were playing at and to find out exactly what they planned to do about this gross transgression.

On the second occasion, we had just soundchecked for a show as Damaged Gods and strolled into the town centre for some deep-fried, potato based sustenance. Sitting down to eat at a grubby formica-topped table our senses were assaulted by a dishevelled man who announced "He's a nigger. A big, black fookin' nigger."

"What the-? Okay, Brother B," hissed my brother in a harsh whisper. Putting down his fork he curled his fingers into a fist as he used one of my many rap aliases (Big Brozilla, Triple XL, B.B. Mon£y and Daddy Long Stroke are amongst the others), "What are we going to do about this?"

"Leave it, G-Influence," I replied - plucking that particular nomenclature from a very long list of my brother's AKAs which includes Doc Connors, Wachowski and Chachi - "He's clearly disturbed."

Anyone notice the common thread between both incidents? That's right! The N-word.

Words exert influence. You can calm, scare, call to arms or induce sleep with words. Noam Chomsky posited that words and language are an integral part of our psychological being; they give shape and meaning to the things around us, and, in a very real and literal sense, the person and people that use them.

In magickal terms - I've been reading a lot of Aleister Crowley recently - invocations and spells are referred to as "Grimoire", literally "grammar" in French. One can harness power and create magick for one's own ends simply through the use of words.

The history of the word nigger is often traced to the Latin word niger, meaning black. This word became the noun negro (black person) in English, and the colour black in Spanish and Portuguese. derogatory nigger and earlier English substitutes such as negar, neegar, neger, and niggor that developed into its lexico-semantic true version in English. It is probable that nigger is a phonetic spelling of the white Southern mispronunciation of Negro.

By the early 1800s it was firmly established as a pejorative term. In 1837 Hosea Easton wrote that nigger:

"is an opprobrious term, employed to impose contempt upon [blacks] as an inferior race. . . . The term in itself would be perfectly harmless were it used only to distinguish one class of society from another; but it is not used with that intent. . . . [I]t flows from the fountain of purpose to injure."  

The word "nigger" is imbued with so much hatred and prejudice that its mere utterance evokes centuries of discrimination and ignorance: conjuring an image of abused, enslaved forebears who were considered lazy, stupid, dirty, subhuman and unworthy of the dignity afforded any other human being. The use of the word was a form of ritual humiliation employed by slave masters.

Fast forward a couple of hundred years and Jay-Z and Kanye West are picking up Grammys for Niggas In Paris. I feel like crying. Trust Americans (a people whose country was founded by genocide and built on the backs of slaves) to trivialise the word, ignore its history, use it as a matey salutation and subscribe to the notion that its meaning changes depending on the complexion of the person saying it.

Slavery has caused severe emotional and psychological trauma, resulting in a self-hatred which manifests itself as Black people disrespecting themselves with the same words which were once used to denigrate them. No other culture does that. You never hear, "What up, my *insert racist epithet here*?!?!" as a greeting in any other culture. It would be quite horrific, but indicates that slavery and its attendant racism have succeeded.

The Godfather of the Black use of the N-word is Richard Pryor. In his rather slight autobiography Pryor Convictions, he said, "Nigger... I decided to make it my own. Nigger. I decided to take the sting out of it. Nigger. As if saying it over and over again would numb me and everybody else to its wretchedness. Nigger. Said it over and over like a preacher singing hallelujah."

In 1979, Pryor went to Kenya. He sat in a hotel lobby and saw, "gorgeous black people... The only people you saw were black. At the hotel, on television, in stores, on the street, in the newspapers, at restaurants, running the government, on advertisements. Everywhere."

Pryor said to his wife, "You know what? There are no niggers here. The people here, they still have their self-respect, their pride."

He left Africa regretting ever having uttered the word "nigger". "To this day I wish I'd never said the word. I felt its lameness. It was misunderstood by people. They didn't get what I was talking about. Neither did I. ... So I vowed never to say it again."

Of course, by then the damage had been done and the floodgates opened for an abundance of Hip Hop Proto-Pryors who considered the word mere slang and paved the way for the negative stereotype to become profitable and impose itself as a shorthand for Black culture. Professor Griff calls it the niggerfication of rap music. Wynton Marsalis calls it "ghetto minstrelsy." He says,

"Old school minstrels used to say they were 'real darkies from the real plantation'. Hip-hop substitutes the plantation for the streets. Now you have to say that you're from the streets, you shot some brothers, you went to jail. Rappers have to display the correct pathology. Rap has become a safari for people who get their thrills from watching [Black] people debase themselves, men dressing in gold, spending money on expensive fluff, using language like 'bitch' and 'ho' and 'nigger'."

Witnessing the rise of an "artist" like Chief Keef is depressing, but, as a teenager, he doesn't know any better. He's young, impressionable and plainly has no idea that he is perpetuating negative (Niggertive) images of black people, or that he could be a focus for the laser beam of racism.

I hold the rap elder statesmen and veterans to a higher standard. Jay-Z and Kanye West should know better, but the lure of filthy lucre means they'll shit yards of reinforced negative stereotypes to keep the shareholders happy and consolidate their personal brands. Music executives want to cash in on gangsta rap and its essentially disparaging narrative: the media complies, ignoring all other expressions of the music. The big money involved means that the corporations care nothing for the soul of hip-hop or the people who create it; their only concern is with profit.

Jay-Z's lyrics are a far more eloquent treatise on why he would rather rap about nothing and perpetuate the notion that, as a rapper, one has to be steeped in criminality and wallow in juvenilia for one's music to have any validity. It all comes down to the money...

"I dumbed down for my audience to double my dollars / They criticise me for it yet they all yell holla / If skills sold truth be told I’d probably be lyrically Talib Kweli / Truthfully I wanna rhyme like Common Sense / But I sold five mill, and I haven't rhymed like Common since." - Jay-Z, "Moment of Clarity"

The resulting dumbassification* sees rap artists all trying to sound the same: chasing the same coin in the consumer's pocket in an effort to justify the major label coddling of their record contracts. They sound so similar that they cancel each other out and create a cacophony of nihilism.

We also have a real-life CB4 movie plot in progress in the form of Rick Ross. In CB4 Chris Rock appropriates the identity of an incarcerated criminal, MC Gusto, in order to sell records, only for the real Gusto to turn up and claim a little violent restitution. All of which is precisely what Rick Ross has done. He's presently living out the rest of the movie as the Chicago Gangster Disciples issue death threats via YouTube(!), passing acerbic comment on his sales strategy. Mr Ross was the target of a drive-by shooting in late January as he sat in his Bentley: great for sales and it bolsters his street credibility.

From Melle Mel's hard-hitting and innovative The Message in 1982 to Niggas In Paris in 2013, the Grammys represent the celebration of Hip Hop's regression. It's ironic that Public Enemy's Chuck D was on hand to close the Grammy awards ceremony with an incendiary performance which was ably supported by LL Cool J, Tom Morello, Travis Barker and Z-Trip; reminding us of the true power of Hip Hop. Historically Public Enemy's call to Fight The Power and their highlighting of the Fear Of A Black Planet were ignored by the Grammys' voting panel in favour of less incendiary, less difficult and less challenging works. He brought a poignantly dignified presence which acted as a peerless counterpoint to the preceeding buffoonery.

* as coined by Mr Chuck

Four More Years, Mittches!!!

1. Costa Coffee using my favourite song this week - I Was Made For Loving You by KISS - is awesome, even if the residents of Totnes are trying to kick them out of town. They may well be a rapacious multinational, but Damn! They know music.

2. Ash Dieback, the fungal disease laying waste to the trees of the British countryside, sounds very much like the title of a Rammstein song.

3. A death in the family forces us to contemplate our own mortality. I've been doing that a lot and getting very maudlin. Wade Kojo Williams passed away on Monday. He was my Uncle on my Mother's side. The 'Williams' part is very important. When we were growing up ANY virtues or talents we expressed were explained by Mater as being "like the Williams", whereas any missteps, plainly, were due to us being "so Creese".

I can't speak for my Sis, or my Bro', but as a youngster I was of the opinion that these Williamses were a little bit up themselves, until we eventually met them when we took a family jaunt to St Vincent. They were pretty all right actually (apart from the relative who said I walked like a "bow-legged bitch"), and Uncle Wade was a bit of a legend: a journalist, a celebrated songwriter, parliamentarian and an active member of the community. In his time in Winnipeg he served as:

• President of the National Black Coalition of Canada (Winnipeg Chapter);
• President of the National Council of St. Vincent and the Grenadines Associations in Canada;
• President of the St. Vincent and the Grenadines Association of Winnipeg;
• President of the Manitoba Intercultural Council (MIC);
• Representative on The Visible Minority National Council on Canadian Labour Force Development;
• Chairman of the Black History Month Celebration Committee;
• Member of the Committee for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination - Social Planning Council of Winnipeg;
• Chairman of the Martin Luther King Memorial Committee;
• Executive Member of the Afro-Caribbean Association of Manitoba;
• Founder and Chairman of the Manitoba Coalition of Organizations Against Apartheid and Racism;
• Founder and Chairman of the Forum for the Awareness of the Minority Electorate;
• Multiculturalism Director of the Liberal Party of Manitoba;
• President of the St. Norbert Liberal Association;
• Executive Member of the Assiniboine-Fort Garry Residents Advisory Group (City of Winnipeg);
• Founder and Chairman of Students Against Apartheid (University of Winnipeg);
• President of Caribbean Students Association (University of Winnipeg);
• Founding Executive Member of The Calypso Association of Winnipeg;
• Co-Founder of the Winnipeg Calypso and Reggae Competitions;
• Co-Founder of the annual Winnipeg Soca-Reggae Festival and Member of the Manitoba Senior Provincial Cricket Team.
• He was also a member of several Caribbean Folk Groups/Choirs in Winnipeg.

Truly an exceptional man, and a bit of an inspiration. He will be greatly missed.

His funeral is taking place in Winnipeg, Canada, and I'll be accompanying my Mother, which'll be a laugh riot. I get my sense of humour and sunny disposition from her. Ask my sister. She calls me 'Smiler'.

4. So I skipped over to Liverpool to sort out my passport. The last time I was in the city was a few years ago to rehearse with an early line-up of Damaged Gods, which disintegrated when the guitarist and bassist started banging each other - Gina, the bassist, went on to play briefly for all-girl metal maidens McQueen - so I was surprised at how well I was able to navigate its streets.

Having about four hours to kill before my passport was ready I popped into a Tesco Express to grab some overpriced sustenance, and scanned the newspaper stand for a publication which would entertain me whilst I sat in my car waiting for the paperwork to be completed. Obama's face beamed triumphantly from the front pages of the newspapers whilst, on the shelves above, a scarlet tressed Holly Hagan proffered her sizeable mammaries like shoddily constructed Blancmange desserts. I decided that Roger Moore's autobiography would prove more engaging and stuck with my Chicken and Bacon sandwich, Strawberry and Banana smoothie and a pack of Cool Breeze Extra chewing gum, resolving to check out the Obama reaction to, and analysis of, his re-election online when I got home.

Ah, Obama... He's as war mongering and as slavishly bound to the notion of the expanding American Empire as his half-wit predecessor. That Hopey/Changey thing didn't really pan out, did it? Drone attacks and Guantanamo aren't going away anytime soon, kinda proving that even if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it still might turn out to be a bit of a cunt. On the subject of cunts, seeing the response of the sore loser Republicans was definitely worth it.

Donald Trump called for revolution. A subdued and sombre Ann Coulter intoned, "I'm pretty pessimistic about the country. We have more takers than makers and it's over. There is no hope," whilst Ted Nugent tweeted, "Pimps whores & welfare brats & their soulless supporters have a president to destroy America". Fox News host and attack dog of the bigoted right, Bill O'Reilly, lamented the erosion of the white establishment:

"The white establishment is now the minority. The voters, many of them, feel that the economic system is stacked against them and they want stuff. People feel that they are entitled to things and which candidate, between the two, is going to give them those things? Obama wins because it's not a traditional America anymore. The white establishment is the minority. People want things."

Poor fella. His whole world had fallen apart. He looked devastated. I almost felt sorry for him, even as he employed the stereotype of ethnic minorities being feckless spongers. And that's the Republican Party's problem: its hijacking by the extreme neo-cons means that it isn't inclusive enough and as a result Mitt only made inroads into the hearts and minds of the electorate each and every time he moved to the centre, which left him open to charges of 'flip flopping' and hypocrisy. Ronald Reagan would be too moderate for his own party now.

They and the purblind others of their type need to wake up and recognise that times are changing. Watching one's parents forced at gunpoint to engage in sexual intercourse in a bath of warm excrement would be more fulfilling and better for one's conscience than voting Republican. Compare their separatist language with the following from Obama's acceptance speech:

"The idea that if you're willing to work hard, it doesn't matter who you are or where you come from or what you look like or where you love. It doesn't matter whether you're black or white or Hispanic or Asian or Native American or young or old or rich or poor, able, disabled, gay or straight, you can make it here in America if you're willing to try."

Much nicer and genuinely inspiring, isn't it? But then, he meticulously employs a lexicon designed to be inclusive, which is a very good thing indeed. Just try to avoid looking at the detail, eh? At the very least the average American woman will have control of her own uterus for the next 4 years, which I shall address during my 2 hour stopover in Chicago later today. BOOM!

I'm kidding.

Or am I...?

Yes. Yes, I am.

* The Monkey Obama t-shirt comes courtesy of the white supremacist website Tightrope. Also in this series "Fight Crime. Abort Black Babies."and "Bureau of Negro Control."

In The Spotlight: Basil Creese Jr

I was asked to complete one of those interview things recently and figured I'd share my unexpurgated answers...

What motivates you? I’m definitely an “away from” kind of chap, so, typically, it’s a fear of failure. However, this is a fear driven by my ceaseless insecurity, my limb-gnawing neediness and, what my mother describes bluntly as, my “monstrous narcissism”.

What de-motivates you? A badly lit mirror.

What do you get up to in your spare time? Mine and my brother's band Damaged Gods. Unlike much rap based music, which is entirely concerned with cars, money, guns, drugs, trainers and girls' bottoms, there is a political hue to our vivid beatscape which renders our art both visceral and cerebral. I also write. Amongst my published articles I'm most proud of contributing a cover story to “The Tribune” magazine - a publication which George Orwell used to write for.

What job did you want to do when you were at school? “Truth-Campaigning Journalist.” Time’s arrow and the inexorable onset of cynicism dashed my dreams on the unforgiving rocks of harsh reality and led me to conclude that the two terms are mutually exclusive.

Where is your favourite place in the world and why? Onstage, performing. One cannot create art in a vacuum and my compulsion to seek love, adoration and validation from complete strangers - whilst having them attest vociferously and enthusiastically that I’m LITERALLY covered in awesome - is overwhelming.

Which famous person (living or deceased) would you most like to meet, and why? Noam Chomsky. He’s a philosopher, a linguist, a political activist and revered essayist. I’d ask what inspired him to apply linguistic techniques and constructs to an advocacy for social and political change, and whether my looks prevent me being taken seriously.

What makes you laugh out loud? It’s a tie between Britain’s “ethical” foreign policy and America attempting a practical application of the innocuous sounding “Hegemony Stability Theory.” They’re a bit like Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon in “The Trip,” only more surreal and with a little more bloodshed.

Your one piece of advice for future generations: A thing done with moderation may later be judged to be insufficient, yeah? Sweet!

If you were an animal, what would you be? A Liger. It’s a cross between an overly promiscuous Lion, and a Tigress. On their hind legs they’re as tall as a double-decker bus! In this guise I’d be able to cut my queueing time in Boots - for my Astral All Over Moisturiser - in half! Possibly... It’s too close to call... Manchester's pretty hardcore.

Best book you would recommend “Zabiba and The King” by Saddam Hussein. A “Mills and Boon” style love story as penned by a murderous despot. Genius! It proved so popular it was turned into a musical. I mean, he didn’t even feel the need to devise a nom de plume like, say, “Mildred Bagshaw.” And why would he? After all, nothing says “romance” like “Saddam Hussein.” Also available in this series: “Quick and Easy meals for working Mums,” by Idi Amin.

Favourite Film you would recommend: “Brotherhood Of The Wolf.” Imagine “Dangerous Liaisons” meets “The Matrix” meets “Jaws” with an underlying poignant social commentary set against the backdrop of the French Revolution. Amazing. Either that or “Brozilla: He Is Legend!” - the film that’s playing in my head ALL the time, boasting a cast of one, outrageous CGI, gratuitous nudity and a throbbing, sensual self-written soundtrack.

Barcode Crucifix

I got a call from an excited Matt at Playschool Noize today to advise that 'Barcode Crucifix' by Damaged Gods out on 4/4/2011 is officially available for pre-order from amazon, play.com and hmv.

Slide back a month and I'm watching the Brits hosted by James Corden. Eliza Doolittle, during the first half of an ad break sponsored by Mastercard, proffers her stinky, powder blue trainers to the camera and mews in a voice she obviously imagines to be endearing (but which actually induces me to try and chew at my left elbow), that these are indeed her favourite trainers. If ever there was an indication of the crass commodification of music then here it is: wrapped in a self congratulatory clusterfuck celebrating vacuous product placement.

Music is both an art and a science. Between the algorithms and arithmetic, maths and magic exists the light and shadow of music. And Cheryl Cole.

The musical landscape has always been populated by non-entities with absolutely fuck all to say, playing fifth rate music filtered through fifth hand ideas and sponsored by tossers who know literally fuck all about fuck all. The difference is that now they're likely to receive a Brit nomination as they guarantee TV ratings.

It's been a long road to get to a point where this work could be released. Variously, it didn't sound "black" enough (I'll leave that to Plan B). There were too many long words (Antidisestablishmentarianism, anyone?). The guitars (Jim Davies of The Prodigy guests) were a tad too angry. The themes too dark. Even the artwork (by Lucius Michael Copsey) caused some consternation with the last record company who deemed it "disgusting" and "distateful". Awesome, eh?

But hey, if Chuck D digs it then I know I'm doing something right. I'm not going to rewrite the foreword (Pretentious, moi? Mais oui!) to the album here, but great art should be a document of the times in which it was created, so as I look out of my window I see dissent and dissatisfaction in equal measure and that's what 'Barcode Crucifix' enunciates eloquently. It concerns matters magikal, sexual, political and religious. Every word loaded with a symbolism which resonates long after the last note fades. And I personally guarantee that it'll make you shake that booty.

Can you imagine Public Enemy kicking fuck out of Nine Inch Nails whilst both parties are being torched by Rammstein as Dub C laughs at the horrific carnage? Lovely, isn't it? Man, I love Cradle Of Filth, but their hymns to violence are steeped in either fantasy or, in the case of the amazing 'Godspeed On The Devil's Thunder' album, history. Damaged Gods are of the NOW. When we suggest that "The lawless government invites anarchy," just look around. It is entirely true.

The album has been years in the making and is more relevant and necessary now than when it was conceived. So over the past couple of weeks our government has;

- sent David Cameron to sell guns to Egypt's supreme military council


- had David Cameron appear in Kuwait to defend arms sales vociferously, whilst Gaddafi continues to use British arms against his own people


- sent the SAS and MI6 to the wrong place, where they were captured by farmers

Remember, these chaps went to the very best public schools and did the Oxbridge thing, so are far better and way more intelligent than you or I. Thus, I'll pause before branding any of these actions as thoroughly cretinous. Don't get me wrong boys and girls, it's ALL about the music, but these are the reasons I do what I do. And these are the reasons for the snarl on my face.

Meanwhile, shitty bands play their odes to vacuity with a criminal inanity. Don’t accept it. You deserve better. We all deserve better. And that is what Damaged Gods represents. The middle of March finds us on tour as a trailer for the album and August sees us over in America further spreading the damage. As always Brozilla will be sharp of suit. Superior of mien. Sexy of limb. Witty. Charming. And the easy erudition of my oratory skills will be a joy for all to behold. The aim here is to put on a show rather than merely play gigs like so many other bands and I would urge you to attend, participate wholeheartedly and display your affection by offering a two fingered salute.

Vees up. Us against them.

Nothing but love

xBx

Jackin' for beats with... DJ Gaddafi

As we approach the release of DJ Gaddafi's upcoming album "The G Files" we are pleased to give you an in depth interview with the Middle Eastern Despot/Rapper as he discusses his favorite producers, rappers, David Cameron & Dr Dre's "Detox" album. We're given an "Access All Areas" pass to his impressive Presidential Crib. Situated in the southern suburbs of Tripoli the central domed portico gives access to a lofty entrance-hall, lined by a row of double columns of grooved white marble with gilded bases. The white marble floored ballroom - the size of two football pitches - hung with tapestries woven in a different age depicting the Saracen violently resisting the infidel Christian Crusaders. The high, ornate ceilings are adorned by one elaborate chandelier after another.

We enter as DJ Gaddafi is in the middle of a telephone conversation with his American agent;

DJ Gaddaffi: I don’t wanna hear what the fuck these motherfuckers got to say. They say I can't run shit and this and that? Will. I. Am.? Yeah, the motherfucker’s tight as fuck, but if it ain’t broke, you can’t fix it, motherfuckers. I’m ‘bout to go hard. I’m not gonna make this guy a superstar again. The boy had his chance. GA! DA! FEE!. Let me reiterate this. Hold on... One love, Basil, I get down with y’all, that’s Libya baby, for real. Freshly! Chopped! Basil! Yeah... Y’all puttin’ it down for the brothers and sisters, for real. I’m just talkin’ about all the suckas that be hatin’. Be a fan and stop hatin’. Listen to the real shit, you got to do it. Sheeee-it. Let me pull this motherfucker back for y’all one more time. This just that soulful shit, this is what I do. Don’t get mad at me, I wanna say your name, but I ain’t gonna do that. One love y’all to people that got love for Libya. Freshly Chopped Basil: What’s up y’all this is Brozilla with "Freshly Chopped Basil". I’m here with DJ Gaddafi, you all know him, and here he is. What’s up, man? DJ Gaddafi: Just chillin’, doing my thing. You know how we do? Workin’ on "The G Files", tourin’, having a good time. Just want everybody to come see this tour and feel the music I’m bringin’. Freshly Chopped Basil: So you've got the album coming out soon. It’s coming out at the end of April, right? DJ Gaddafi: Yep. The album is coming out April 27th. It’s a great record it’s got a lot of features. I got a lot of talented cats gettin’ down; Snoop Dogg, Beyonce, G-Influence and Brother B, The RZA, P Diddy, Eminem, Nick Clegg, 50 Cent, Tech N9ne, Ed Balls, Chuck D, RBX and Caroline Spelman singing some chorus hooks... Dr Dre did his thing on a couple of tracks... Just a bunch of talented artists and I love what they do. Freshly Chopped Basil: Usually with your albums you produce the entire thing. How come you put Dre in the mix? DJ Gaddafi: I love Dre, who doesn't? I think he’s a great producer. In fact all the producers that’s puttin’ it down I respect them and I love their work. There’s a lot of good music out there, I respect everybody and I love what they do. Freshly Chopped Basil: On the flip side of that, you as a producer, which artists would you like to produce for? DJ Gaddafi: My tastes are way out and people might think I'm trippin’, but I wouldn’t mind doing something for T-Boy. And- Freshly Chopped Basil: That's Tony Blair, right? For real. T-Boy can spit. He brings heat and keeps it 100. He's my main Caucasian. He kinda reminds me of myself when I was doing my thing, and I’m still doing my thing, don’t get it twisted. We go waaaay back. He brings the fire. I like Raekwon, he’s cool. I like Jay-Z, he’s super cool. I like Nu Labour, even though they don’t have records out now. Snoop, that’s a must, I’ll work with him anytime. Damaged Gods are crazy talented. They're getting a lot of play out here with "Outf!%king rageous." You heard that yet? Whooooh! HOT. There are tons of guys out there that I like who are putting out good music, but there’s a lot of other people trying to rap and trying to produce just because it’s so easy to get into right now, but in a minute that’s gon’ change once that real music comes back and people understand what’s really going on. I know I went somewhere else on that answer, but hey. Freshly Chopped Basil: You’re putting out this record on your own Coup D'etat label. This is your second independent release. What's that like when you compare it to your major label experience? DJ Gaddafi: I mean independent is a little harder than being on a major label. You gotta be hands on: make sure everyone's doing what they s'posed to do. I wasn’t hip to that, I thought I was still gonna have people to do things for me. But you get a chance to really see what’s going on and really know who got your back and who don’t got your back in the business. I’mma put it to you like this: when I was with a major, it was on and crackin’. Everything crackin’. I made a lot of people, a lot of 'behind the scenes' people, rich. But now that I’m independent and I have to get at the same people that made it pop for me back in the day, then it’s a problem. I mean that as far as, “Hey, DC, can you gimme a hand here? I- Freshly Chopped Basil: "DC?" DJ Gaddafi: David Cameron. "I made you a load of money and I'm still making you money.” And I gets no love. It can still go down like that. It’s just a different way as far as showing that support. I mean I support everybody in the Middle East, I support everybody in the West, the East, Down South. But it’s just gotta be a mutual thing, especially here where I’m from. Everybody out here, all the DJs, all the clubs, everybody gotta ride and look out for each other. I’ve been to clubs where I’ve seen cats that’s from here at the door, and they like, “Nuh uh” and they let artists from somewhere else right in. We gotta have more unity and that’s what we missin’ from the game. The talent is there, the music is there, the unity is the key. Freshly Chopped Basil: Tell us about the viral video you had for "Capitalism Crash". How did you guys decide to do that and are you guys gonna shoot any other more traditional music videos? DJ Gaddafi: For "Capitalism Crash" I just got my secret police to film David Cameron swanning around the Middle east trying to sell arms to literally anyone. In this climate of violence? If that doesn't show you that Capitalism is utterly bereft of morality... Anyway, the response was off the chizzain! I think we're up to something like 5 million views on YouFace. Yeah, we’re gonna shoot more videos. We shooting for "It's All About The Oil Receipts" which is me and T-Boy. Doing that, puttin’ it down and letting people get a glimpse of that. Middle East meets West. I got family in all places so I can’t have tunnel vision. That’s how you survive in the game, you can’t have tunnel vision. Freshly Chopped Basil: I heard that "Education Revolution" was originally gonna be a Michael Gove collaboration song, tell us about that. DJ Gaddafi: I did the song with him, that’s what that was. But records change. A lot of records I could tell you about right now that had other people on them from a lot of artists that you know have changed. Just like on that Elton John single “Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me”? I was on that song originally and I got dropped for George Michael. So records change, that record changed. I put G-Influence and Brother B on it, it was a good feel for them so that’s what it was. Freshly Chopped Basil: On another note, have you worked with Dre on "Detox"? DJ Gaddafi: In the beginning, sort of the beginning, I was over there with Dre and the rest of the fellas going through the records and marking off ideas for him to hear. That’s all I did really. Then a year or so ago I spat a verse or two, but I don't know if they made it onto the record. Freshly Chopped Basil: So you made some TV appearances since your last album. How did that come about and how did they approach you and what was your first thought? DJ Gaddafi: Well I did the "Celebrity Fit Club". I didn’t want to do it at first because I thought it was some corny shit. So I was like, “Damn, I’m not old, I ain’t played out. I’m still a youngster.” I told ‘em no, but then the producer Rich called me and said, “Lemme take you out to lunch”. So I had lunch with him and he explained to me what the show was about and what was going on as far as showing me how to eat better and showing me how to exercise their way. I said, “So y’all gonna pay me to exercise and eat right?” So I was like, “Shit, let’s go.” And I did that and I’mma do more of those type of shows. On the big screen, as far as movies, sitcoms, all of that, I’mma do it all. It’s just showing versatility and by the way I’ve been easing over into scoring. I scored the popular Libyan drama "Tripoli Heights". I don’t even know if a lot of people know that but I scored that show, it was a great show. So I’m doing a lot of things. I’m easing my way into being behind the scenes ‘cause that’s what I really love. I’m still a motherfuckin’ rap artist period. I do that. But you grow and you have to change and I’m just changing and I’m looking for the next motherfucker who can shock the world. A lot of motherfuckers can rap and they do that all day but I’m looking for a person that has a story about themselves, something that can captivate the world, not just your hood. And that’s what I like about T-Boy. He got a story and he tellin’ these motherfuckers, “This is what it’s like with me and where I’m from. This is what it’s like and this is how we gon’ give it to you." He got a story about it and you rarely find artists that really give you that story and that realness. But I’m pretty sure it’s coming, and I’mma be looking, ‘cause I am a producer, Gaddafi Funk Entertainment, baby. Freshly Chopped Basil: We’re about to wrap up but before that tell us what kind of vibe people are gonna expect on the album. DJ Gaddafi: You can expect a lot of records that’s got a soulful feel, a lot of records that’s like more on the groove tip. I ain’t really goin’ hard on the record, like Will. I. Am. Did you catch Black Eyed Peas at the Superbowl? Oh, man! That was some repugnant shit. A lot of people don't know that Fergie played William Shatner's girlfriend in an episode of TJ Hooker back in 1986. She's looking rough these days, right? That's the crack. A lot of these celebs are on crack these days. They tell me crack is in. Anyway, what I'mma be doing is talking to everybody from a fake tanned, ugly WAG motherfucker on "Daybreak" to Paxo on "Newsnight". Freshly Chopped Basil: Can you explain the bloodthirsty repression of your people for four decades at the behest of your Western puppet masters? DJ Gaddafi: Huh? Freshly Chopped Basil: Never mind. Before we leave, do you have any closing comments about anything? DJ Gaddafi: All I have to say is whatever you want to do in life keep your mind to it. If it don’t jump off at first don’t get frustrated, even though we do get frustrated. Just keep pushin’ and don’t let nothin’ hold you down. And keep faith in God and know that it’s gonna be alright. And for the motherfuckers that be hatin’ on Brozilla Triple X L, kiss my motherfuckin’ ass, ‘cause you can’t hold a brother down. Freshly Chopped Basil: Wise words. Thanks for your time today. Peace. DJ Gaddafi: Huh?

In The Spotlight: Cheryl Cole

What motivates you?

Apart from making sure my new album 'Messy Little Raindrops', which came out on Monday, is a massive success? Lol! As a singer-songwriter, dancer, model and TV Personality I just want to be an inspiration. If only one person sees me on 'The X Factor' and puts down 'de' gun or 'de' knife - that's how they say it - Cheryl Cole will have been successful. That's what gets me out of bed in the morning.

What de-motivates you?

Negative people. That sounds harsh and I'm sorry, but I make no apologies for it. There are loads of reasons for not doing something. Look at Nadine. People said: "Are you mental trying to launch a solo career? You haven't got a fraction of the profile of Cheryl Cole," but she's having a go anyway. Good on 'er, I say.

What do you get up to in your spare time?

You mean when I'm not being "The Nation's Sweetheart"? Lol!!! I read lots, y'know the 'Twilight' books, 'Harry Potter'. I've got my nose buried in 'Madame Bovary' at the mo'. I listen to music. It's usually straight up gangsta rap like Black Eyed Peas. I've got so much time for Will. I. Am. He's so generous and kind and talented. Did you see him in that 'Wolverine' film?!? I literally wet my black, silk thong! Pissed right through on to the seat and everything! He's like Pacino. Chen Pacino, who did a lot of Hong Kong action movies in the early 90s. When I'm running or at the Gym, I'll usually listen to Damaged Gods. That Brother B is totally lush and I've heard he's a bit of an oversized freak in the trouser department. Have you got his number? Lol!

What job did you want to do when you were at school?

I had under-age sex and lost my virginity aged 15. I mean, I have no regrets or anything like that because I made my boyfriend wait for three dates before I let him gggrrrriiiinnnddd me from behind. I think it was in double French… Anyway, there was a whole "to-do" and I had to see a counsellor and I thought, "Yeah. I'd like to do that," because that counsellor turned little Cheryl's life around. So, a counsellor or summat like that is what I've wanted to be for the longest time and I get to do that on 'The X Factor'. People think that Cheryl just has to say "Yes," or "No," but sometimes you have to put a question mark on there because, y'know, it's really up to Simon. Or you've got to get emotional just before we go to a break. Cheryl literally changes lives and that's a really heavy load to bear.

Where is your favourite place in the world and why?

Ooooh… That's a tough one! Cheryl Cole is like a global brand. I'm not saying I'm going to join the panel of judges for 'American Idol' or owt like that, but that's the kind of game Cheryl's bringing to the party table. Milan! Paris! New York! Berlin! Droitwich! I'm all over the place these days, especially with 'Messy Little Raindrops' coming out on Monday. Everyone wants a slice of Cheryl! I'd say wherever Cheryl is, is where Cheryl needs to be and that's my favourite place in the world.

Which famous person (living or deceased) would you most like to meet and why?

Richard Dawkins. End of. He's dead clever. I like to accessorise some of my outfits with rosary beads, crucifixes and temporary henna tattoos of our Lord, Jesus Christ. They're obviously 'out'. The Pope's visit didn't go that well and I'd like him to suggest some alternatives.

What makes you laugh out loud?

Britain's "Ethical foreign policy"! Lol! I'm kidding. Seriously, we need to root out evil and punch it in the face repeatedly. I'm going to go with 'The Larry Sanders Show'. No one knows about it in England, because the BBC only ever showed it after midnight, but it's dead brilliant. I made sure I got the boxset in the divorce. Lol! Oh, and Nadine. I haven't seen her or spoken to her in ages, but I see her on television or hear her single and I can't help it. I start laughing! Lol!

Your one piece of advice for future generations:

Don't lose your rag with a toilet attendant! Lol! Only kidding. Sharon Osbourne and I never quite saw eye to eye 'cos I replaced her on 'The X Factor'. But I read an interview she gave to the 'Sunday Star' and she said how beautiful and talented I am and how I have to beat men off with a shitty stick. Which is dead true! Lol! She's a lovely woman, Sharon. And so wise. She's taught Cheryl so much. What was the question again? Oh yeah, be yourself.

Chelsea or Manchester United?

Man U, all day, baby! Lol!!! Nah, Chelsea. I still get on with Ashley. Apart from 'The Larry Sanders' boxset, of course. Lol!

Favourite Film you would recommend:

'Avatar'. Have you seen it? It's literally the best film ever! Oh, my God! I want to live on Pandora. James Cameron is a genius!

7 Days Ago I Was A Rock Star

“Since music is the only language with the contradictory attributes of being at once intelligible and untranslatable, the musical creator is a being comparable to the gods, and music itself the supreme mystery of the science of man.”

Claude Levi-Strauss

7 days ago I was a Rock Star.

I was chilling in a dressing room as my alter ego fearless superhero 'Brozilla' waiting for the call to hit the stage of a packed Oakengates Theatre, Telford; a prestigious venue which, in the coming weeks, will play host to An Evening With Alistair Campbell, Joe Pasquale's Extra Sensory Pasquale and acclaimed Psychic/Medium Joe Power 'The Man Who Sees Dead People'. Illustrious company.

Tonight I'm in the communal lounge area of the North Stafford Hotel writing this in the midst of a distinctly elderly clientele, none of whom appear to have been born after 1937. They eye this interloper suspiciously, stiletto sharp glances jabbed in my direction: a faint whiff of incontinence pads as they whoop with mirth at "You've been framed!" An ocean of fawn cardigans and polyester slacks stretching towards the flock wallpapered horizon.

The online blurb describes the hotel rooms here as possessing "a classic style," which is certainly true in the sense that Fawlty Towers is unquestionably a classic and the decor, fittings and fittings here are resolutely 1970s. My bathroom is essentially a verruca repository and as a result I've taken to showering in my socks. Tonight's sub-par evening meal concluded I sashayed stylishly back to my room. As I passed room 239 I heard a dog howling plaintively. I'm no dog lover. They are pointless, yapping, smelly bastards. And here's a truth for you: if you own a dog, you smell of 'dog' too. We're just too polite to say anything.

Anyway, the sound was so horrifying it literally rooted me to the spot. Sweet Jesus! Was someone actually beating it? Was it dying? Did that yelp just then sound human. I moved tentatively towards the sound, raised a tremulous hand to knock, and then figured 'Nah...' Whatever lay on the other side of the door would be fine without my intervention. And what in the name of Julian Croot was a dog doing in the hotel? I grabbed my Macbook Pro (tm) and came down to the lounge to make use of a wi-fi connection so limited it doesn't even extend to the bedrooms.

7 days ago I was a Rock Star exhorting a smiling crowd to scream "Fuck You, Brother B!" at me.

I don't think I've ever mentioned my band in this blog. I guess I find it hard to talk about. How do you express yourself to other people on the subject of your nose, for instance? It's just a part of you, isn't it? That's what music's like with me. And, erm, all of us, actually.

Every culture on the planet is bathed in music. Both its universality and its antiquity suggest that perhaps it is something our species cannot do without. Did you know that music activates the same parts of the brain and causes the same neurochemical cocktail as other pleasurable activities like eating chocolate or, ahem, orgasms? Music can also be used as an antidepressant - hard to believe if you've heard McFly, but people in Western society use music to regulate their moods, whether it's playing something upbeat in the morning or something soothing at the end of a hard day, or something that will motivate them whilst taking part in vigorous cardiovascular exercise.

Right now, I've got "The Fragile" by Nine Inch Nails on auto repeat so that I can lose myself in its throbbing sensuous melancholy and let my creative subconscious come out to play as I write.

It's interesting to look at music from an evolutionary perspective. Dr Steven Pinker of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology suggests that music is essentially purposeless - mere ‘auditory cheesecake’ - and that it is piggy backed on the other resources we have to deal with sound to make sense of what we hear and the world around us. Were we to remove music from our culture, he says, everything else would carry on in the same way. Totally unchanged.

Charles Darwin, on the other hand, opined that music was selected by evolution because it signals certain kinds of intellectual, physical and sexual fitness to a potential mate. And recently completed research shows that if women could choose who they'd like to be impregnated by, they'd choose a rock star. There's something about the rock star's genes which signals creativity, flexibility of thinking, flexibility of mind and body, an ability to express and process emotions: whilst musical talent signals sexual potency - Justin Bieber, for example.

Modern neuro science posits that our brains are fundamentally geared to make and appreciate music as it is a gymnasium for the mind. The whole of the brain is engaged and represents a collaboration between the logical side of our cognition (to pick out patterns and make sense of any words) and our emotional processing centres. Music also manages to home in on our motor centres – making us feel an impulse to move. We may hear the same piece of music again and again and it still has the same effect. In fact sometimes our response, whether emotional or physical, can be amplified.

Music is so powerful it's used to rehabilitate stroke victims AND as an instrument of torture. James Hetfield said he felt proud to have the military use Metallica's music. On a visit to Guantánamo Bay Lieutenant Colonel Stuart Couch described his intense dismay when he witnessed a detainee shackled to the floor of a cell with heavy metal music blaring. The detainee was

“rocking back and forth, mumbling as strobe lights flashed.”

Colonel Couch said that

“the treatment resembled the abuse he had been trained to resist if captured; he never expected Americans would be the ones employing it.”

7 days ago I was a Rock Star and I held an auditorium full of people in the palm of my hand.

Good night, North Stafford Hotel lounge! I'd go upstairs and trash my room, but someone beat me to it.

35 years ago.

Oh, the dog? The owners had gone down to dinner and left it on its own in the room. I passed them later on this evening taking it for a walk down the corridor...