My struggles with the truth

THE FOLLOWING BLOG CONTAINS THEMES AND LANGUAGE WHICH SOME READERS MAY FIND DISTURBING. INTENDED FOR MATURE READERS ONLY.

I made reference to the peerless Cyrille Regis in my last post. He was a late 70s striker who played for West Bromwich Albion and, alongside Laurie Cunninham and Brendan Batson, was one of Ron Atkinson's pioneering Three Degrees. This clip on YouTube shows them destroying Man U in the 78-79  season, the black footballers being booed every time they touched the ball. So things have moved on considerably, but I'd like to say a heartfelt "Well done" to Jason Roberts and Rio Ferdinand for their actions this weekend in not wearing the Kick It Out anti-racism campaign T-shirt. It looks like Rio's going to get a good kicking from Sir Alex Ferguson. SAF described Rio's actions as "embarrassing" and promised "He'll be dealt with it, don't worry about that".

Roberts and Ferdinand are protesting what they perceive to be a lack of action by the 'Kick It Out' organisation in combating racism in football. In light of the high-profile Suarez and Terry cases and what happened in Serbia it's time for something more than words on a t-shirt. I hope they get the opportunity to explain their positions rather than being vilified for rejecting the prevailing orthodoxy.

The reaction of the Serbian FA to the criticism they've received for their monkey chanting fans has been curious. They posted a heavily edited video on youTube suggesting that Danny Rose is lying when he says that he was the subject of racist abuse. It's pathetic, asinine, utterly witless and smacks of a Lance Armstrong style two-fingered denial.

There's a lot of that denial stuff floating about. I was on a sports news website and was perturbed by the amount of racist abuse offered by Football fans in defence of John Terry, which, of course, I had to challenge. There was one fella who had an onscreen name of THE TRUTH. The following are all pretty awful, but illustrate that racism is alive and well. I've copied and pasted his posts without editing or correction:

THE TRUTH

WHY DO NIG_GERS CARRY A TURD IN THERE WALLETS ?

 I.D.

THE TRUTH

WHY DO MONKEYS LOOK SO WORRIED ?

BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT IN A MILLION YEARS THEY WILL EVOLVE INTO NIG_GERS.

THE TRUTH

WHY DID STEVEY WONDER ALWAYS LOOK SO HAPPY ?

BECAUSE NO ONE TOLD HIM HE WAS BLACK.

THE TRUTH

WHY DO NIG_GERS STINK ?

SO THAT BLIND PEOPLE CAN HATE THEM AS WELL.

THE TRUTH

THE DISCOVERER OF DNA DR JAMES WATSON SAID BLACK NEGROS

HAVE A VERY LOW IQ AND PREFER TO DANCE AROUND TO BONGO DRUMS

AND MOST SCIENTISTS BELIEVE THIS TO BE TRUE.

THE TRUTH

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE A NIG_GER WITH ONE LEG ?

STOP LAUGHING AND RE-LOAD.

THE TRUTH

MOST SCIENTISTS THINK NEGROS HAVE THE IQ OF SMALL CHILDREN AND THE ONLY WAY TO CONTROL THEM

 IS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD THRASHING

THE TRUTH

ITS AN ""INCONVIENIENT TRUTH""

NO ONE WANTS NIG_GERS OR PAKIS HERE

THEY ARE SUB HUMAN IN EVERY WAY

ITS NOTHING PERSONAL

ITS JUST THE TRUTH

THE TRUTH

YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST THE ARGUMENT IF YOU TRY AND BAN SOMETHING..

WHICH MEANS YOU ARE UNABLE TO ARGUE YOUR POINT FOR OR AGAINST

THE TRUTH

ANYONE NOTICE HOW BLACKS ARE ENGLISH WHEN THEY WANT TO BE

AND SUDDENLY CHANGE TO  AFRICAN VICTIMS WHEN THEY WANT TO BE

THE TRUTH

 80% OF  AFRICAN NIG_GERS ARE HIV POSITIVE

 AND THE REASON IS THEY TAKE IT UP THE ARSE

 STRANGE BUT TRUE CHECK IT OUT

THE TRUTH

DARWINS LAW 

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

WHITES ARE FIT 

NIG_GERS ARE  S_H_I_T

Horrified, I asked, quite reasonably, what the fuck the moderators were doing allowing this vile filth to be posted without censure or sanction as it indicated that they agreed with these views. There were those who posted that, like many "People of colour", I was being too sensitive, or actually a bit of  a bigot for wanting to restrict THE TRUTH's right to free speech.

In celebration of my love for Gene Simmons my e-mail addy bears a "Demon" reference, which inspired the THE TRUTH to respond:

THE TRUTH

HAVE YOU NOTICED ITS ONLY NIG_GERS AND FAGSTHAT WANT TO BAN ME

OTHER MAY NOT AGREE WITH ME, BUT THEY RESPECT MY RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH

DEMONFAG.... ITS CALLED FREEDOM OF SPEECH

COS YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH

This was a step too far for me. I channeled the spirit of Malcolm Tucker and offered a brusque riposte:

Do not address me, you f@%king moron. You're a waste of skin, rather like the useless moderators who've allowed you to say stuff that you should be arrested for. And what's with the 'fag' reference? Scared of the big black dick, are we? If I'd known you were going to turn out this way, I would have insisted your Mother swallow instead of...

Despite the warning in red at the top of this page I cannot reproduce the concluding thoughts of my rant. If you can bear to, read this imbecile's crass posts again. They pinpoint precisely why wearing a t-shirt is not enough. Kick It Out need to do more than offer slogans and promotional t-shirts, because racism is still a very real problem.

KISS and sell-out

So, I'm watching the movie Ted and I squeal with pleasure when I see a KISS poster on the titular teddy bear's bedroom wall. I LOOOOOVE KISS. Always have. In 1994 they released an album entitled Kiss My Ass on which Lenny Kravitz, Stevie Wonder, Tom Morello and Maynard James Keenan paid tribute to the self-proclaimed Gods Of Thunder. Seth McFarlane and I are not the only celebrities who love them.

The day I encountered KISS for the first time changed my life. It was at my baby sister's birthday party and one of the guests brought a couple of KISS discs to rock the house. The covers alone intrigued me. I guess it was because they looked so different and were utterly unapologetic. It was something with which I could identify and, weirdly, they were a source of strength when everything went a little bit Nazi at school. I have KISS to thank for my desire to make music, and Gene Simmons to thank for the thrilling dexterity and flexibility of my expert tongue.

The brilliant thing about KISS is that even though their songs are utterly peerless - sticking rigidly to the pop template set out by The Beatles, but with heavy, overdriven guitars - you don't have to like the band to dig their live show. For example, you've got to really enjoy Bono's preening sanctimony to derive any sort of pleasure from a U2 concert. Whereas with KISS, well, "You wanted the best, you got the best!" has always been their battle cry (the rabidly dedicated fans are called the KISS Army). Who amongst us doesn't love guitars which shoot rockets, drums which levitate 50 feet in the air, singers who fly over the heads of the audience, or blood spitting, batwinged demons sporting dragon platform boots who breathe fire? Sufuckingperb!

They have sold more than 100 million records and have officially licensed over 3,000 products since their bigger-than-The Beatles 1970s heyday including KISS Marvel comics; KISS credit cards; KISS condoms; KISS Him and KISS Her fragrances; KISS action figures; the KISS Kasket (a coffin featuring pictures of the band and a tasteful logo); KISS Monster Mini-Golf Amusement Center in Las Vegas; KISS pinball machines; the KISS Coffeehouse; and emblazoning Hello Kitty and Family Guy merchandise with KISS imagery.

KISS were the very first Rock Brand and a marketing strategist's wet dream. They opened the door for non-entities like Tulisa from X-Factor to have her own perfume.

"I wanted a fragrance that I could relate to. Something powerful without losing its girlieness. I wanted to be able to wear it day and night. This fragrance will really give the girls the confidence to show those boys who is boss!"

And we all know that the latest James Bond movie (heard the Adele tune yet? What the fuck is a "Skyfow"? Or a "Crumbow"? It's truly dreadfow) will be a product placement fest. A quick scan of the website reveals that they're selling bottles of 007 Bollinger Champagne for £150 and there's a list of products which have been featured in previous movies;

"In the movie GoldenEye Bond is drinking Jack Daniel's whiskey with M in her office. The bottle can be seen on the counter, at around 49 minutes into the movie." 

Anyway, I was buying my Sean John (the clothing and fragrance company of Sean 'P Diddy' Combs) I Am King Eau De Toilette in the Skelmersdale Concourse last week and I noticed that on one of the top shelves of the Mens section, next to the cut price Beckham Instinct they had a bottle of Sex Pistols fragrance which proclaimed "Certainly, there's a revolution in this bottle." How punk is that? Almost as punk as John Lydon saying about the Palestinians "If Elvis-fucking-Costello wants to pull out of a gig in Israel because he's suddenly got this compassion for Palestinians, then good on him, but I have absolutely one rule, right? Until I see an Arab country, a Muslim country, with a democracy, I won't understand how anyone can have a problem with how they're treated."

Butter selling tosser. You are the antichrist indeed.

Despite having KISS action figures in my attic (you're officially sad if you keep them in their boxes, so I bought 2 sets: 1 to recreate their classic concerts and 1 which will stay sealed to form the better part of my estate once I'm dead) and the impending release of their 20th studio album Monster, I've reached an impasse. One which might see me officially revoke my membership of the KISS Army and go AWOL.

Slavishly adhering to the "If something's worth doing, it's worth overdoing," mantra KISS recently released an autographed photo book priced at a trouser-filling, wait for it... $4,250. Let me just write that in words: four thousand, two hundred and fifty dollars. For a book. A book! If I was laying out that amount of do$h I'd need to be able to drive that sucker to work. At a time when many of us are struggling to get by, it's aberrant that a band which purports to be of the people would put out something like this, which is obviously skewed towards their weekend golfing buddies.

"We understand it’s not for everybody, but it wouldn’t be fair to the people who can afford it and appreciate it to not put it out.  It’s something for a select few.  One size doesn’t fit all with KISS.  Just like those people who have the front row seats, this is a book for people who can afford it."

They're officially the Marie Antoinette of Rock 'n' Roll and chillingly echo the acidic sentiments of Mitt Romney:

"There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it... My job is not to worry about those people. I'll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives."

Little wonder Gene's rooting for Mitt in the upcoming election. As I'm typing this paragraph, my sister's just sent me a text which says, "Ahhh. KISS! Special memories." And she's right. There are whole swathes of my life which have a KISS soundtrack. Songs which have a special significance and transport me back to a specific time and place. I became The World's Greatest Drummer® by playing along to KISS records: slowing them down so I could work out how Peter Criss played his Jazz-flavoured fills. Any time I play a show I channel the spirit of Gene Simmons and gather darkness to please me.

The thing is, on reflection, KISS never had any integrity. They've never even pretended to have any integrity. They had a go once (the glorious prog rock misstep which was The Elder), fell flat on their faces and never tried again. Indeed their whole career has been a long, slow, deep fucking of integrity's ass. So this book thing is no surprise really... And you never just fall out of love, do you? It's impossible...

Anyone want to lend me $4,250?